On November 17th, 2022, I lost my grandmother.
She was the last living grandparent I had and had lived with my mother and me for basically my entire life. It was a devastating blow to the family and my heart. It was different than when I lost my grandfather in 2017 though.
His passing was sudden. Unexpected. The weeks leading up to my grandmother’s passing were rough. The decline was becoming more and more prevalent.
It was time for people to say their final goodbyes to my grandmother. Family and friends began to come to my house, where my mother had been taking care of my bedridden grandmother for the past five years.
It was also a chance for us to connect with family members we hadn’t spoken to in forever. None more important than the woman who came to visit on November 14th, three days before my grandma passed away.
It was the evening now, and my mom had finally got home from work. I had driven home from my alma mater, Prairie View A&M University, which is about 55 miles north of my childhood home.
At around five in the evening, a knock came at the door. In walked my grandma’s older sister and her daughter.
Willie Mae Burgs, affectionately known as “nanny” to my mother and I came to visit my ailing grandmother one last time.
“I’ll never forget how she looked in that bed – those moments with her.”
My family has never been as connected as it should have been. It’s a sad truth, but it’s one that I am open to speaking about. For whatever reason, it’s not important right now.
It had probably been a few months since I had last seen Nanny. She visited as often as any older woman could with the help of her daughter. But of course, this time was different.
The relationship between the family has always been strong even through distance. Nanny and her late husband, Donald Burgs, affectionately known as Uncle Don to me are a part of some of my favorite family memories growing up.
I vividly remember walking up to them at a wedding and reminding them that today was actually my birthday. I couldn’t have been any older than eight at the time. Uncle Don made a remark about it always being my birthday every time he saw me and shared a laugh with Nanny.
Getting twenty dollars from them definitely helps the memory stand out too.
After Uncle Don passed, it took a heavy toll on Nanny. The family began a trend of meeting up in Dallas at our cousins’ house for Thanksgiving. My mom, grandmother and I made the journey to Dallas every year for the occasion.
It was always refreshing to see Nanny and the family and to share those memories with them. The first time I ever went to Dallas was to see Nanny at Thanksgiving.
As the years went on, it became harder for Nanny to get to and from Dallas. As the distance grew in the family, Thanksgiving in Dallas became no more.
But this past year, we had a resurgence. Not for Thanksgiving this time, but Christmas.
I traveled home for the holidays, and this time made a Christmas visit to Nanny’s house along with my mother and my uncle.
It was a much more intimate setting than the past, and a house I’m very familiar with from my childhood. While the extended family wasn’t there, my uncle who I hadn’t seen in twelve years was around.
My mother, my uncles, Nanny, her daughter and I all gathered around the table and ate while we watched Christmas football – which still sounds weird to say.
We ate, reminisced and caught up. I even received some classic Nanny advice as the day went on.
It reminded me of the old days. A time when my grandmother was still alive. A time when the family was closer than ever.
Nanny is the only living connection I have to my grandmother. Her similarities to my grandmother, her sister cannot be overstated.
Nanny is 88 years old now and in the latter part of her life. And with me being further away from home than ever before, I don’t know how many chances I have left to create new memories with her.
So, I’ll always make sure to cherish the ones I’ve created, and not take any chance to create more lightly.
So as Christmas Day’s end came to the horizon, I made sure to get a picture with my Nanny. I made sure to tell her I love her.
And most importantly, I made sure to add the day to the collection of wonderful memories we’ve made.
